Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Bachmann & McCarthy

Michelle Bachmann is having a visitation from Joe McCarthy's ghost.  How else to explain her vehement claims that the government is being infiltrated by the Muslim Brotherhood?  She's convinced that a senior aide to Hillary Clinton is a secret member, basically based on the woman's deceased father's unsolicited mail from decades ago.  Her suspicions got so loud, and so ridiculous that John McCain stepped in to state the aide is not a member of the secretive activist group.

Poor baby.  She obviously misses the media from her short stint in the republican campaign and she's looking for headlines wherever she can get them.  What bothers me the most is that the woman is on the House Committee for the Armed Forces - do we really need her energy and paranoia on that vital committee?

There are some calls for her to be kicked off the committee - let's hope that happens.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

a great brunch

had brunch with a longtime friend today.  mike and i talked about everything under the sun, from the price of apple stock, to barbra streisand, to the recent supreme court health care ruling.  there's nothing like spending time with an old time buddy to feel good.

tonight i take kitty to another great restuarant, jack allen's kitchen, for a birthday dinner, her birthday (63!) being tomorrow.

it's been raining on and off for days so we have a rather unusual july sight for austin - green lawns and trees.  it NEVER rains mid-summer here.  last year we had over 100 days of over 100 degrees and no rain, this year it's mostly under 100 and rainy.  i'll deal with august in august. for now i'll enjoy the rain.

it's nice to feel a break from grief.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

it's complicated

just had a long talk with my brother about my father's estate. it's so convoluted and complicated and makes me feel sad.  my father was declining long before we thought he was, based on some of the confusion.  he wasn't thinking clearly for some time.  i wonder if we were all so focused on mom that we didn't see dad's health clearly, what if we had, and had gotten him serious help, not left it all up to self-report.  he was often overshadowed by mom - is this another example?

his decisions were not sound. his mind was not sound.  how tuned in was my oldest brother, he who was onsite the most?  he was often frustrated with my father and did some unwise things. he decided my father shouldn't take ambien, for example, so he cold-turkeyed him without benefit of medical input.  that act alone causes cognitive confusion.....i'm not saying this is all his fault. i wasn't there as often as i could be, i bear responsibility.

he's been gone just under 2 months.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

kicking back

ever since the last 'peak' day related to my father's death, i've been kicking back, relaxing.  i find little surges of denial appearing every now and then.  i needed a phone number that i knew he would know and had a thought of calling him, until it hit me that i couldn't do that.  i couldn't do that for the last 3.5 years he was alive, actually.  that got me to thinking of my moms 'address book.

i used to love looking through that book.  it was abt 10" long and 5" wide, made of japanese silk.  it had addresses and changes of addresses from years back.  it was easy to trace the journey's different people took, including my own.  i had abt 5 entries in my mom's address book, starting with moves during college.  i have so many of her things, but not that.  it was probably thrown out. sad to think about.

i did come across a file folder my brother had sent me some time back.  it had carbon copies of dozens of letters my mother wrote to friends and relatives while we were in india.  seeing the family through her eyes was fascinating.  it was like hearing her voice tell me stories i'd only guessed about previously.  some were from my dad, and they were of a far more practical nature.  he covered the 'who, what and where' details, her the 'why's, if's' and relational aspects.

i thought i'd done a good job of asking questions of my parents prior to their deaths, but now there is so much more i wish i knew.  i don't even know the story of where/when they met.....