Thursday, September 27, 2012

A Sad Milestone

Dear Mom,

It's been five years, today, since you left.  And I miss you just as much as I did when you first died.  Now that Dad is also gone, well....I may be 55, but I still feel like an orphan.  I get some comfort thinking the two of you are together, along with Heidi - that may not be what I'm supposed to believe, but it's what I do believe.

There are things I've wondered about that only you can answer.  Who gave you the heart necklace and why was it hidden in your drawer?  What was up with the cork collection?  I don't even know how you and Dad met, what you did on your first date.  I must have asked, you must have told me, but I don't remember.

That last visit we had together was so sweet.  You were so tender, and so vulnerable.  I came away with no regrets because you said what I needed to hear, and I said what I needed to say.  Nothing remained unspoken.  Do you know what an enormous gift that was?  And I hope you felt gifted.

All my love,


Thursday, September 20, 2012

take a sniff

the air is alive with the smell of politics, isn't it?

everywhere i turn i see headlines, about romney's 47%, obama's latest poll numbers, ryan's latest lies and biden's latest gaffes.

today mitt romney said he wanted to be president of 100% of americans - oh, so that includes the 47% he basically called a waste of skin? and then today he flips again, saying something positive about "gay domestic partners".  that's the re-emergence of the alleged moderate romney who governed massachusetts.

also good news - elizabeth warren is beating scott brown (MA), tammy baldwin is ahead of tommy thompson (WI) and michelle bachmann is in danger of losing her congressional seat.

there is still a long way to go, however. and the debates are coming up fast.  they should be good for obama, however, as great an orator as he is, he'll have to crunch his words into 2 and 3 minute segments.  how fast is he on soundbites?   but mitt has so much ground to make up for it's hard to see the debates as advantageous to him.  he's allergic to 'spontaneous' (unless it's a dinner party at $500,000 a head).

oh yes, it's looking way better than expected.  today.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Mom's birthday

today is my mother's birthday.  or, it was. no, i guess it still is, though she's been gone for several years now.  i saw her shortly before her last birthday with us.  terminally ill, she was bed-ridden and on powerful pain killers.  but she  was most definitely present.  i'd bought a gift for her, still not quite understanding it would be my last birthday gift to her.  it was a beautiful ceramic lion - bright colors, a great facial expression.   she loved animals, real ones and others as objects d'art.  mom had a huge collection of animals made out of all sorts of material - most of them are here with me, all around my house.

i also picked up a bottle of bailey's irish creme, her favorite drink.  she wasn't supposed to drink alcohol while on morphine, but who cared. as my father and a nurse's aide looked on aghast, i poured some into the sippy cup she was using, poured a little for myself and we drank a toast to her. she had a wonderful smile on her face as she tasted the liquid. i hope it was a good high.  i miss my mother.