Surgery...........again

so...........i had surgery on my shoulder in June - had a bone spur irritating some nerves running along my shoulder.  fast forward a few months......now there's another bone spur sticking out at about C6-7 irritating yet more nerves along my cervical spine.  really, really irritating them. so tomorrow, more surgery.  in the meantime, my incompetent work place can't seem to get me the FMLA paperwork, and i'll have to call in every morning before my work shift to say i won't be there - until the paperwork gets filed.  and it will oh-so-much-easier to file the paperwork when i get it faxed to me  by HR.  oy vey.

Denial

i can't help but compare the ignominious ends of both saddam and gaddafi - one in a spider hole, the other in a sewage drain.  it seemed both were surprised by the furor their presences created.  talk about denial.  both waged war on their own citizens, killing hundreds of thousands for one trumped up reason or another.   each flirted with nuclear weaponry.  gaddafi pepetrated one of the worst terrorist attacks against the US with the bombing of Pan Am flight 103, causing hundreds of deaths.  saddam's spinning of the tale of WMD caused bushco enough heartburn so as to cause him to go to war.  over 6000 deaths later, we're ostensibly withdrawing all troops by the end of this year.

i have no idea why the above formatted as it did.

anyhow, denial.   why was gaddafi so confused and surprised by the end as it unraveled?  when you surround yourself with yes-people, when no one sheds a light on reality.......one can decide what reality is - until it rears up and bites you in the ass.

a dangerous game, believing your own propaganda, large or small scale.  regular person or dictator, make sure you have someone on your side not afraid to tell you the truth.......

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

It's October, and all becomes pink, the color that embodies the fight against breast cancer.  I even saw a pink grill on sale!

My mother's first cancer was of the breast, and the cancers that came back came from there.  Knowing that she died of breast cancer makes me passionate about assisting with the many volunteer opportunities for fund raising this month.  I just signed up for numerous shifts for the local Komen Race for the Cure on November 13 (no idea why it's that late....).

The Komen Foundation is one of the largest organizations in the world working with the medical, psychological, political, and societal implications of breast cancer, and announced a major new initiative just a few days ago:

"DALLAS – October 14, 2011 – Susan G. Komen for the Cure®, the world’s leading breast cancer organization, today launched a major new outreach to dramatically improve cancer screening, education and outreach in the Latina community, where breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer death. The outreach initiative is called Lazos Que Perduran.

Telenovela actress Angélica María, and her daughter, actress-singer Angélica Vale, are among the Latina celebrities helping to launch Komen’s Lazos que Perduran (Bonds that Last) outreach in October. Lazos emphasizes screening, education and support programs to stem breast cancer deaths in women in the nation’s fastest-growing population group.  More than 14,000 of the estimated 200,000 cases of breast cancer expected in the U.S. this year will occur in Latinas; more than 2,200 women of Latin origin will die."

Donate TODAY.  Find out about the Race for the cure nearest you TODAY.  (Just google it if you're not sure).

Hidden Benefits

The New Old Age blog recently shared some research on hidden benefits of caregiving.  As a caregiver, I paid attention to this - it seems counter-intuitive because it's an exhausting job.  However, some of the tasks are easily connected to the general suggestions that play a role in healthy aging.  For example, I get more exercise if I need to get up a few times an hour to retrieve this or that.  I stay active, more than I might simply on my own behalf.  And negotiating with insurance companies and providers serve to keep me more mentally nimble than I might otherwise be.  The final point - I am serving a purpose more vital to me and my partner than any other purpose I can think of.

This is all after a full day of work, and in addition to all the other tasks I perform in my life.  I know what I'm doing is vital to the overall health and focus of my household.  And I'm fortunate.  her illness is intermittent, so there are good periods of respite built in.  Many others are not so fortunate.

Aging

At 54,  i find noticeable changes in my body that take some adjusting to. for example, last year as part of my physical, i asked my physician to check my hearing and sure enough, there were a couple of deficits.  the referral card still sits on my bedside.

i had shoulder surgery ages ago - 3 1/2 months ago, and i still have pain.  not just pain, but pain strong enough to require pain medication.  and frequent ice.  i have no doubt that had i had this surgery 20 years ago, the pain would be all gone and the arm/shoulder at full function.  i know, patience......

i don't grasp things in a split second.  very, very quickly, but a noticeable hesitation before the light bulb goes off.  noticeable to me, at least.  seems like it used to be different.

while i notice all the above, i feel OK with the changes, because of the other ones.  i feel wise at times.  i watch someone manifest my own hallmark impatience, and i know it, whatever "it", takes time.  i bring a multitude of experiences at my disposal from which to relate, to learn, to connect.

i've seen very, very difficult examples of aging and i know it is not for sissies.  but right now, i'm just old enough to know more.  not necessarily to know better, but to know more.  and that's a good place for now.  and just maybe i'll act on that referral to a hearing specialist.