you were a King of Cats. i will miss you. yet i knew when you came out from hiding yesterday that you were telling me it was time. i was very emotional and you were stoic. you didn't protest a whit when i put you in the cat carrier. my mind was whirling through the wonderful 20 years we spent together, all the while you were purring ever so slightly, none of the crying you usually do when getting into the cat carrier on the way to the vet.
i knew what had to happen. you'd mostly stopped eating and drinking, stopped playing, stopped coming into the bed to lie in between us - your all-time favorite thing.
one little moan of protest when i took you out of the carrier in the vet's exam room, then quiet on the table. no protest when they weighed you. the tech asked if i wanted to talk about treatment options or........and she let herself trail off. i said i wanted to talk about the "or...." part with the vet.
so we did. he told me he could hydrate you, maybe give you a few good days, but then we'd be right back to square one.
i wouldn't put you through that, not since there was a chance you were in pain. you knew, you stayed curled up, pressing into me. so he stepped out for a moment, you and i 'talked' and he came back in with a nice towel you could lie on, not the stainless steel of the table. he gave you a tranquilizer shot and i kept telling you what a good boy you were. a few minutes later he came in with the other shot, and then you were gone, hopefully hearing my loving voice as you exited.
and now you're free of pain, no longer weak, hopefully in a garden of eden full of catnip.
you were my one soulmate cat.